I’ve come to the realization that I don’t know anything. I am a fraud. I hear been lying to myself all along. This isn’t impostor syndrome, I am the impostor. I’m sorry I lied to you. I thought I was who I thought I was, but it was all a lie.

I don’t want to live by that anymore.
I don’t want you to see me like this.
I need to build myself into who I thought I was…
or maybe not. I don’t really know. Everything is a blur.
Nothing makes sense anymore.
I feel numb to everything, to everyone just putting on the mask they want me to wear.
I have been out of touch with the real me for a long while.
I miss you, F. Where have you been? He has taken over. He replaced you.
He’s lying to the world,putting on the mask for everyone to see.
So what do you really want?
Where do you want to be? How do we fix this?
Does any of it matter? We influence the world, and then we die.
What is success like? What is the meaning of all this? Why are we here? Why are we doing this?
What is failure like? What is pain like? Please,I just want to feel something.
I want to understand myself. I want to know how to feel.
What is this? Who are we? What does it mean to love? Why do we want to love?
What is life like? Why are we all here? I think that’s enough.
It all just feels like thoughts like someone is going to ask that question eventually…right?
Maybe not… bye…. (: